Cloudy With a Chance of Popping Off!

Listening: Let Him In By: Maranda Curtis 

Hello Friends! I hope you are well! Listen June has been a month-WHEW CHILDDDDD! It has felt so long and y'all I have been fighting for my life on the low. Alright, I am being a bit dramatic but this leads to my next statement. I said that I was going to talk about being in the safety of God this month but I am going to table that for a later time. This month I am going to talk about something that has drained me this month both emotionally, physically, and almost spiritually. Let's get into it y'all! 

I am helping to plan my family reunion and it popped off on nowhere else other than Facebook. That dang Facebook I tell you the truth it is just bad! Long story short it was me vs. two of my cousins. One of them I barely know to be honest because she never really came around the family. The other is a cousin who has a moment in my book in which I gave her flowers as she was an intricate part of my life during my pre-teen and teenage years. I hold this cousin in high regard, she was one of my favorite cousins. However, we had a disagreement which led to the exchange of very hurtful voice recordings and we are no longer speaking. Let me say my dearest gentle readers WE WERE BOTH WRONG! I would say my grandma is turning in her grave but she is up there with Jesus chilling. 

While I can acknowledge my wrong I can also say that after hearing the voicemail left on my phone I was extremely hurt. I was called a snake, arrogant, and was told all I will ever be is a crack baby and so much more was stated in my regard. Friends, I lost it and baby Carrie who was raised in the hood bubbled up in me I genuinely have not been that upset and ready to fight in a while. This also drained me greatly because it felt like so many losses. A relationship is broken, families are at odds, and the devil did exactly what he wanted to do; confuse! While I carried so many feelings concerning this situation I was sitting at my desk upset with no one but myself. I was battling with the statements that were said towards me wondering if they were true. I was battling with trying to live save and falling into anger instead of using wisdom. It was so much y'all I still hate it! However, my big cousin called me while I was sitting in all the feelings at my desk and said “Don’t sit in all that was said and recognize that none of that is true to who you are”. God used him to wink at me when I needed to give myself grace. 

There are many times in life when we find ourselves in moments that are not the best situations for who we are trying to be especially when we are living for God. The devil hates it and he will do anything to pull you back to your past. He does not care if it’s your child, cousin, husband, wife, or friend he will use anything available to him. For example, using the fact that my mom smoked crack as an attack on my current identity could only be the devil because only the devil deals in the past. He has no access to our future which is why when we are out of the safety of God we find ourselves in cycles. You can identify the devil by cycles you consistently fall into and by those who deal with you based on your past and not by who you currently are and what you hope to be. The moral of this story is the devil knows exactly what you fell for before and he will do it over and over again until you remember who you are during the fight. There should be nothing that anyone can say to you to get you off your square because you are locked and loaded with what God says about you. It is good to remember that our fight is not with flesh and blood it is with spirits and darkness and sometimes that darkness is manifested in the ones we love. But guess what– it is still our responsibility to respond by being a representative of Christ first and making that flesh shut the heck up! 

So my friends as we move through life let us remember that we are a child of God FIRST in every fight. 

Be Well! 

Carrie B.